Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
