Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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