just survived the first fart of the relationship.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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