I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
