Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
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THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
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Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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