Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
