And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is her dick bigger than yours?