Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Is my tampon string too long for this dress?

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(517): View more from Michigan

Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.

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(503): View more from Oregon

like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be

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25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(718): View more from New York

we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.

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(240): View more from Maryland

this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality

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(864): View more from South Carolina

SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..

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