Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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