I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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