had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!