Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.