Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.

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  (773): I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne. http://tfl.nu/lh1l
  Replies (14) Good night (1104) Bad night (1134)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot

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  (347): I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot http://tfl.nu/oi7m
  Replies (4) Good night (3380) Bad night (484)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?

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  (304): what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea? http://tfl.nu/0ytw
  Replies (9) Good night (1279) Bad night (4674)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!

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  (812): I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah! http://tfl.nu/iijo
  Replies (13) Good night (2645) Bad night (765)
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  (310): View more from California

  it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined

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  (310): it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined http://tfl.nu/11oi
  Replies (15) Good night (8519) Bad night (801)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.

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  (603): Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me. http://tfl.nu/c00l
  Replies (26) Good night (5993) Bad night (1430)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.

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  (515): you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation. http://tfl.nu/yqu2
  Replies (8) Good night (3688) Bad night (924)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this

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  (601): It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this http://tfl.nu/qp1v
  Replies (9) Good night (781) Bad night (3545)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??

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  (502): What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."?? http://tfl.nu/h07e
  Replies (25) Good night (1462) Bad night (2644)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car

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  (573): This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car http://tfl.nu/p8ht
  Replies (10) Good night (1444) Bad night (2225)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?

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  (804): I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again? http://tfl.nu/ryyt
  Replies (2) Good night (1103) Bad night (528)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?

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  (773): What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again? http://tfl.nu/duvn
  Replies (7) Good night (1881) Bad night (636)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink

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  (812): his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink http://tfl.nu/s3j7
  Replies (3) Good night (1150) Bad night (268)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...

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  (330): Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night... http://tfl.nu/aq2u
  Replies (2) Good night (544) Bad night (322)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine

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  (615): Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine http://tfl.nu/rjex
  Replies (2) Good night (274) Bad night (532)

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