dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.