You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
