If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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