Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
