I wish my penis had an off switch
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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