"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You may now shotgun with the bride
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize