One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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