Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
