you're like a bully in the Christmas story
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS