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does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
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