Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
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I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
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It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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