When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
