Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
