he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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