No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
