i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
