apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
