i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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