if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
