I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
