id be glad to
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
