There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
