Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I will be naked everywhere
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
