i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize