I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
