I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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