Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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