Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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