Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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