Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
