the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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