Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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