I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
