No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
