First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
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