it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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