dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize