so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
