you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
