Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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