didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
