They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize