We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
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thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
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I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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