I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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