Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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