Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
