Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize