I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize